Sending roommates into sexile.

Tufts University in Massachusetts made a rule that students can not engage in sexual activity in their dorm when their roommate is present and that any sexual activity that happens in the dorm should not affect a roommates’ privacy, sleep or study time. They put this rule in because they have been receiving complaints of students being sexiled. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/29/tufts-sex-rule-tufts-univ_n_303449.html
Sexile is when a roommate asks their roommate to leave so they can have sex or, engage in sexual activities.

I know it’s fun to spend time alone with someone you find attractive and see how far you can go with them. But does that fun really have to come at the expense of roommates?

Weither it’s a college dorm, apartment or house we can all agree , no matter who’s footing the bills that when we’re room mating with someone, we’re agreeing to share a space with someone we may or may not know.

I have been in the same room with a friend of mine when she decided to have sex with a guy she was interested in. Long story short, the three of us where watching a movie one night and halfway through I discovered I was the only one still watching it. So I know watching people engage in that activity is akward and uncomfortable. I also know when you’re with someone you like hormones take over and some college dorms just consist of a mini fridge, shelf, two desks and two beds with no door inbetween. So there is no privacy. But I can also understand not wanting to leave just so your roommate can get laid.

So after moving in, maybe that should be one of the first things you talk about if you’re not living with your significant other. I know it's usually an unspoken roommate rule. But if you're living with someone you don't know that well you don't know how they feel about having members of the opposite sex over- espeacilly if they're not going to get any . That’s why Melanie and I actually get along as roommates. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out at first. I describe us as “The Odd Couple” because she’s a neat freak and I’m not. So some things bother her that may not bother me. I don't know how many times I've seen her wiping crumbs off the table while I'm still there eating. I don’t know how many times we’ve unintentionally locked one another out of the bathroom.
However, we respect one another’s need for privacy and the fact we’re sharing space with one another. We let one another know when we're having people over for the night-stuff like that. We do have our own bedrooms.
But even if we lived in a shoebox I know we wouldn’t send one another into sexile when one of us has a guy over. I actually encourage Melanie to have fun when she's with a guy she likes. ( The good/bad kind of fun ofcourse. Not the fun that can get anyone in trouble or anything too stupid .)

Maybe since Melanie and I were friends before becoming roommates it helped the talk go smoother. But after the talk is over, it doesn’t have to be brought up again unless something new comes up. As a bonus when you want to see how far you can go with someone you know your roommates limits as well as your own. If the person you're seeing really is worth doing anything with, they'll respect your roommates wishes as well.

But, if worse comes to worse you can get horizontal when your roommate's out for the night . If that's not possible it means hoping your mate has a place you two can hang out or can spring for a hotel room .