The lady in not quite red.

I am insane. I spent ten dollars on a dress and I don't even know when I will wear it. I just bought it because it's pretty. It's a strapless pink dress with little teardrops on it and it fits me just right with no alterations. I found it in the Student Union Recreation Center thanks to the Fairy Godmother Project the Fashion Club put on.
The Fairy Godmother project is where people donated their old prom dresses and they sold it back at really decent prices. I decided on the pink dress over a red dress because the red dress felt tighter, I was fidgeting more in it and alterations would have had to be made in order for it to fit me right. With the pink dress in my closet, it made me wonder about choices.
I could have bought the red dress and got it altered. However,realized I’m not ready to be the “lady in red” quite yet. I know I have some major changes that I still need to make on myself.
For example, I feel like lately I have been saying one thing and doing another. I got back with in contact with someone who is interested in me but, I’m not interested. Rather, I find myself flirting with someone who made it as clear as water he can’t give me what I want right now. I feel insane for that too. Knowing all this, I couldn’t help but wonder what am I doing?
On top of that , this is one of me and Melanie’s last nights as roommates .
I love her unwavering optimism in all aspects of her life.
Me on the other hand, I’m a cynic . With my current circumstances, I wish you really could order men like a pizza. You know like, I’ll have a medium brown hair, blue eyed man with an accent who likes theatre, writing and traveling. Please hold any baggage and excuses.
But since that’s not possible, all I can do is laugh about it. I will eventually get tired of chasing someone who can’t really give me what I want. Just like the man I’m not interested in will eventually get tired of chasing me. Hopefully, it’s sooner rather than later.
I also realized that if I'm not interested in someone and if someone can't give me what I need out of a relationship, then they're not the one for me. When I do find the right person, only a few minor alterations will need to be made before the red dress fits.