Another chapter offically ends...

I found out Brian is engaged to an eighteen year old. Not only that, but they dated about two weeks before the proposal. I've had milk in my refrigerator longer than that , and when I was up at Central, I remember Brian monologing in Subway about his issues with marriage, and that he didn't think there was such a thing as true love. Now all of a sudden he's engaged to a girl he's known for five minutes?
Plus when we dated,Brian said if I even mentioned marriage, I would be kicked to the curb. Even though, he was the only one out of the two of us who even brought it up,and I even said if he felt that way we didn't have to date.
I feel like I am back on the mountain Brian left me alone on for two hours when he had to go for help because his car, WarBitch got stuck in the mud. I feel alone, cold, and still unsure of what to do now that my relationship with "the marijuana man" has really gone to pot.

Brian has tried to contact me. But, I haven't responded to his calls, texts, or email. I miss talking to him. But, what do I say? Even though we kind of dated, and I was proably the last girl you saw naked before you started dating this other girl, and I remember you complaining about marriage, I am so happy for you? I don't know. For once, I am at a loss for words. All I know is that tomorrow the sun will rise, and I hope someday I will see the light again.

Baseball

On Saturday, September 3rd,I went to the last Yakima Bears game of the season. They won 4-5. But as much fun as the last game was, earlier that day Ryan, the boyfriend of my friend Crystal asked me out as I was leaving the building we both work at, and this is not the only time this has happened. Less then a month ago Ryan did the same thing and it would start the same way. Ryan would tell me about the problems he is having with Crystal and then ask if I want a relationship with him. Two years ago when Crystal and Ryan where having problems, Ryan asked me and Melanie if ether of us would date him. A.K.A. when Crystal and Ryan are having problem, Ryan likes to start shopping, and apparently the first store he likes to shop at is Crystals friends even though his card has always been declined every time he's tried to shop there.
Today on our way to the Valley Mall, I told Crystal Ryan is starting to ask me out again.Although I know she is not too happy about it, she deserved to know the truth. As we looked at shoes and ate Taco Bell, I began to wonder if there where any good men still out there because I seem to be a fly strip for bad ones. It was enough to make me not want to play the dating game at all. I spent my labor day curled up on the couch, and watching Sex And The City shows.
But while I may not know men, I know when it comes to dating, men , good and bad will come my way. Sometimes I'll strike out, and sometimes I'll get a home run while I'm looking for that special someone to hit it out of the park with. However, I can't hit the ball out of the park if I don't even step up to the plate.

Mani/Pedi

Today I met up with Melanie and after coffee at Starbucks, we headed to E-nails where we got a manicure and pedicure . Yes, it cost $35 dollars to get everything done. But, when I got to put my feet in warm water, and they rubbed lotion on my ankles, I thought it is so worth it.
After I got home tonight, I ended up talking with Brian on the phone, and the first thing he told me was that he has a new girlfriend. The minute Brian told me that, I couldn't help but remember the last time I went into E -Nails was not too long after I agreed to go out with him.
After our conversation, being the overanalyzer that I am I couldn't help but wonder what happened to us? This past December, I was looking forward to going back to Ellensburg so I could finish school , and be with him. Now he has offically moved on, and I am still on the singles market. (For now anyway, after all circumstances like that always change. :0P) It's not that I want him to be unhappy. But, moving on after a break up has always been the hardest part for me. Even though Brian and I aren't together I'm still used to talking to him almost everyday, and, I will deny this in court, but yes it feels weird not having him try to get with me.
It feels like I tamed a horse, but someone else gets to ride it.
But instead of going down the poor me path, I will say hearing about his issues with marriage, and saying the "L" word (aside from making me feel like I am Carrie ,and he is Mr. Big from "Sex And The City," ) made me realize I want a man who is not afraid of those things. Yes, flings are fun , but finding someone who wants to build a life with you is another part of life, and I don't want to miss out on that when I meet the right person. Until then, it's nice to know for only $35 I can get a manicure and pedicure with my best friend weither or not I am in a relationship. After all, life's too short to be anything short of happy.