Finding our own spotlight

I got a phone call from someone I work with tonight. I have to admit before that I was tired from being in the sun two days in a row. During our conversation, she told me others have said I usually get the best numbers at the park. That surprised me because usually I hear people telling me how good she is at her job. I still don't know if it's the truth or just gossip. I don't worry about numbers when I am working. I just do what I am supposed to do and I try to let whatever numbers I need show from that. Actually on the job, I am a silly person. I dance like no one’s watching , jump around acting excited about everything, chat about random things, and I try to create an environment where it's fun and everyone can make money. But it did remind me to continue to do the best in all I do because you never know who is watching and admiring what you bring to the table.

So long, so gone...

After work on Sunday, I got an im from Brian,and I was on the fence about if I should resume contact with him. A part of me still wants to talk to him again. After all, we where friends before we officially went out. Plus, maybe I did over react to everything. I know I can. I still remember us hanging out until the middle of the night, getting together for dinner after classes, and working together. Another part of me still wants to throw a shoe at him. I also remember him leaving me alone on a mountain pass for over an hour while he went to get help just as an incentive for someone to get up there and help get his car unstuck quicker, monolouging to me in Subway about how he doesn't want to get married again, and then getting engaged to someone else a few weeks after meeting her. This is after supporting his cause, welcoming him to Central Washington University, and saying nothing but good things about him when I was asked about him for the student newspaper. Some of my friends still say I really should at least hear what he has to say and remain in contact. Some have said I have made the right decision to not have contact with him. However, I just recently lost my wallet. I still feel really stupid that happened. I have tried to stay calm. But of course my mind was going all over the place wondering where it is and if whoever found it is going to use it to ruin my name or something. But in the midst of this chaos, my friend Carolyn willingly made sure I had lunch and took me home from work the day that happened. Sarah willingly switched shifts with me so I could get a license, and everything else taken care of. Meaning, instead of getting to work at a Spurs playoff game, she ended up taking my 8 hour shift at Fiesta Texas. With friends who have treated me with nothing but warmth and kindness, I didn't feel the need to go back to being treated so cold. Plus, I really don't want to hear that his fiancee is great in every way, and why we didn't mesh. I don't want to have to explain why I haven't been in contact. Honestly, I don't know if I even am the same person I was when I last saw him. I'm 50 pounds lighter, and if there is one thing I have learned since I moved back to Texas it is that I am the woman you want on your team.