This isn't goodbye...

Yesterday Melanie, Matt, his parents and I ended up taking a trip to "The Emerald City" ( otherwise known as Seattle.) When I first saw the city, the skyline looked foggy. It matched my mood because the caffine from my morning coffee still hadn't kicked in and I knew after today I would be back in Yakima . After finding parking we went to the Gold Rush museum. There they had a wheel you could spin to show how hard it was to find gold or strike it rich on the Yukon trail. I spun it three times and I didn't even strike gold. Matt spun it once and he struck gold- lucky Jew. After that, we went to the fire fighter museum. There I couldn't help but wonder about how strong and quick the horses that drove the old firetrucks where. Then we went to the Queen of Seattle to take a two hour tour on Lake Union. I have to admit I liked just sitting on the dock waiting to get on the boat and reading "Dear John." I know it's proably a little cheesy of me to be reading a romance novel.
But after watching the movie I figured I should proably read the book. During the tour I found I loved the wind in my face and the fact that the sun decided to come out. I felt more rejuvinated and recharged then I had in a while. I didn't even care that I missed the "Sleepless" boathouse.
After the tour, we went to Ivars for fish and chips. After Ivars we ended up looking at Ye Old Curiosity Shop and taking another boat tour. This time we went on a one hour cruise on Argosy cruises. As I saw the sun start to set on the Seattle skyline, I was half tempted to become a westsider permenantly. After the boatride we went to Starbucks. There I told Matt "remember Starbucks is where we met after we got assigned to work together on newspaper staff."
It made me realize that friendships can introduce you to new things like Judaism, take you places you've never been before ,like a boat tour and sometimes take you back to someplace you've been before, like Starbucks. At midnight I finally got back to my place in Yakima. There Matt told me "this isn't goodbye, it's see you later." All I can say is it better not be goodbye. After all, I need someone to take pictures of good looking men in speedos down in Hawaii since I'm not down there. Plus, I know he willingly went to a Britney Spears concert.

Up in the air

I went to the museum of flight today. There I got to see Boeing's original drafting room, a model of the international space station, as well as world war one and two planes. I personally liked the space exhibit the best because I've always had a thing for space. I just find what's up there in the night sky fascinating. One summer I got to go to Tabletop mountain with my great uncle Lee and my dad. I loved seeing the planet Jupiter , star clusters and nebula's through the telescope. Even today one of my favorite things to do is just go on on the porch swing in my backyard and see what's up there.
As I left the museum with my bag of souvenirs I realized I was like an airplane - up in the air in all aspects of my life. Because of that I thought, my life is a mess.
I wondered if I should be worried. After all, everyone else seems to know where they're going.
Right now, I feel like the Boeing red barn because soon I will be out in the real world, trying to make a name for myself. I can't help but wonder, where will I end up in the next few years? I'm not an overachiever. But I'm not an underachiever either. I'm just me.
I got into writing because I read the book Harriet The Spy in 5th grade and I loved how she would write about people because she wanted to understand them. Since then I started keeping a notebook with my thoughts and observations.
I got into theatre in seventh grade because even though I was really shy back then, I needed a class to take.
I got the travel bug because after my parents separated I ended up flying several times between Texas and Washington. Plus when I was with my grandparents, we would always go on a trip of some sort every summer.
I became involved with ABLE, the disability advocacy group because I met most of the people in the club at the SURC on campus and I thought disabilities advocacy was a worthy cause.
Now some time has passed by, my journaling has led to me writing about such topics as gay and lesbian marriage. I have also written poems, scripts and short stories. I've got to help interview Jay Leno in a real press conference. I discovered that I love meeting and talking to people from all walks of life.I liked my theatre class so much when I enrolled in seventh grade, I took theatre again in eighth grade. It led to me being able to work on shows such as Who's Croaking the Canaries,Anne Frank, Romeo and Juliet, and Peter Pan the musical ( non Disney version.) Now anyone who knows me will tell you I'm anything but shy. In fact, a famous mouse decided I had the right personality to intern for Disney in Florida.
The travel bug has not only taken to Florida,Texas and Washington. But it has taken me to at least Wyoming, New Jersey, New Mexico, Arizona, Oregon, Wisconsin, as well as England and France so far.
After joining ABLE, my peers elected me to be the club secretary. To boot this year I got to attend a disability caucus and I helped get my organization 4,810.00
If being me has been enough to get me this far, I hope it's enough when I am out in the real world.

I offically have my groove back!

July 26, 2010
When Melanie and Matt started dinner, I noticed that I still had 100 text messages from a guy I called it off with in April. I don't know why I kept them. I guess I was so used to seeing his name there I didn't think anything of it until now. Even I have to admit I think the fact they where still there was a sign I hadn't completely moved on yet. I was surprised. After all, I've had months to clear my head, and lean on my girlfriends. Plus I was the one to say au revior! Maybe the old saying is true, time is really the only cure when it comes to matters of the heart. (Although I never doubted my awesomeness throughout the whole process. After all, no one should ever doubt they're awesome.)
I don't know wither it was the smell of the cheddar beer soup being prepared, or just the beer. But I realized with my past staring at me in my inbox, I really wasn't going anywhere. So one by one I deleted all the texts.
As I did, I found that it felt good to finally take the final step in moving on. Now, I feel like I can mountains. I may not know where I'm going. But where ever it is, it will be in a green dress. :0)

Aloha

The tide is slowly starting to change. I am spending a week on the west side of Washington with my friend Matt because on August 18th he's taking off for graduate school in Hawaii . The night before I left Yakima, over face book messenger my friend Jordan told me he is already there in the land of Pearl Harbor and hula skirts on vacation.
In the midst of party preparations today, I couldn't help but remember, not only has Jordan beat Matt to Hawaii this summer. But he also has already been to graduate school. Also, like Matt (and myself), he enjoys coffee and traveling. ( Which one of us hits the airport runway the most? That's still yet to be decided.)
I also find it funny and weird that Jordan entered my life just as Matt's about to leave the state. I couldn't help but wonder, was there a reason this is happening? Is this the universe's way of making sure I always have a fellow travelwhore since my best friend still has yet to be on a plane? Or maybe there is no rhyme or reason to this.
I do know these things for sure.
1. Not only do they both know me which makes them ultra cool. Matt's Bachelors Degree in journalism proves he has a way with words and knows how to get the scoop. Also, a bank on the east side of Washington hired Jordan because he clearly has a knack for numbers.
2. I will miss working and hanging out with Matt like we used to. He is the Jewish brother I never had. Who else is going to make fun of the fact I can't say Puyallup right after he leaves Washington state? Plus, him and his family have welcomed me into their world with nothing short of open arms ever since we met on newspaper staff. On the way up to their house on Thursday we stopped at Snowqualmie Falls just because I said I haven't seen it yet. Yesterday they took me to Seattle, their synagogue, and all this was followed by a formal dinner. I feel honored because I know this isn't something they do for just anyone.
At the same time, I look forward to getting to know Jordan more.
3. I hope I continue to have many Starbucks with both of them.
4. Aside from our love of coffee and globe hopping, all three of us enjoy what we do and do what we can to make the world a better place. According to a website link that Jordan sent to me, he is starting a non profit foundation. Matt raised 500 dollars after the Oklahoma City bombing happened to help people there out. For three years in a row I was involved with The Vagina Monolouges to help raise awareness for violence against women.
Although theater is the last thing on my mind right now. The sun has dipped below the horizon and the luau held today has come to an end. It was fun. I got to catch up with my friends Shannon and Ted who have been dating over a year now. :0) I saw Matt's friend Jeremy do a dance in front of the tiki torches as they where being lit. Although I didn't know weither to say Hawaiian native or village idiot. I also learned I can create paradise. With lots of tape,flowers, birds, sandals,fish, a Elvis Blue Hawaii record, leis, ect. I was able to give the Hartmann household a little slice of Hawaii all the way up here in Washington state. Now, the tiki torches have been put away. But the rest of the decorations are still hung around the house. True to form, Matt has already located the Starbucks closest to the place he will be living for the next few years. As everyone heads to bed, I can't help but think maybe people are just like the waves in the ocean- always coming and going out of one another's life. Sometimes with a purpose and other times with no purpose at all.
Some waves are long and others are so short they don't even make it to the shoreline. Since you can't always control how long the wave is, all you can do is enjoy each ride.

Boardwalk ( a poem I wrote! :0P)

I wrote this last summer and I read it when I need a confidence boost. I think everyone should think of themselves as the Boardwalk because we all rock in our own way. I got the idea from a book I read, and playing lots of monopoly! lol The fact that I worked at the Boardwalk resort at Disney is a happy accident. Anyway, tell me what you think!

Boardwalk

Unlike Mediterranean or Baltic,
I can't be bought simply with Go money.
If you really want me,
you have to save up
and hope the dice rolls in your favor.
After all I'm not easy to land on.
In order to get to me,
you have to go all the way around the board.
But why should I be an easy land?
If all you want is someone with Go money,
then, I'm not for you.
But if you decide to invest in me,
believe me when I tell you that
the benefits are well worth the wait.

My Bucket list

I read an article saying that after attending an AIDS conference, former President Clinton revealed his own bucket list. It made me realize, on August 6th I will be 25 years old. (Uh, I mean it’ll be my 4th time turning 21. :OP) I know I have been blessed to do everything I’ve got to do so far. But, seeing Clinton’s bucket list made me wonder what other things I want to do before I kick the bucket.
Here are at least 10 things I would like to see if I can do.
1. Watch a taping of Saturday Night live. If I’m home when SNL is on, chances are the channel is turned to NBC. I’ve always loved their satire and talented cast. To see them perform live in person would be an honor. (If I get to be on SNL that would be even better. But I know you don’t find them, they find you.)
2. See a show on Broadway live. Ever since a friend of mine told me they saw Beauty and the Beast (my favorite Disney movie) live on Broadway I’ve wanted to go to New York just to have that experience. I got into theatre at first because I needed a class to take back in seventh grade. Now, I love the lights, spectacle and seeing events dealing with life, love, and loss unfolding in front of you live. It’s an electric experience.
3. Get a book published. Those who know me know I’m crazy about writing. Ever since I read Harriet the Spy in 5th grade, I started keeping a journal and I have been scrawling ever since. I find it helps you get to know yourself and the world around you better. I either want to have a collection of short stories/poems published. Or, I would love to publish a book about traveling, relationships or some book that can help people because if something I write helps one person, I’m happy.
4. Visit the Philippines. I want to go there someday because although I’ve met some of my relatives from there, I think it would be cool to see where the other half of my family comes from.
5. Have a family. For most of my life I have been ambivalent about this issue. I’m not like my friend Melanie who prides herself on the fact she can cook and clean. I cook when I need to and clean when I need to. But after finding out I had turners syndrome I realized that having a family of my own is something I do want for myself someday.
6. Start my own company. When I was at my community college, I got to see how a newspaper is started from scratch and how to use exact o knifes – yeah! LOL It made me realize that I want to be my own boss someday. I’ve thought about starting my own theatre company because if I do I can do what I’ve gone to school to for- writing and theatre. Plus I like the idea of being able to create jobs for people especially right now.
7. Visit Japan, Ireland, India, Spain , Germany and Brazil just to say I did. :0)
8. Go back to Disney when I don’t have to work there. That way I can see how things have changed, do things I didn’t get to last time I was down there and so I can enjoy the park without worrying about work.
9. Swim with dolphins. I remember someone telling me there was a place in Florida you could swim with dolphins. But I never got the chance to do that back then. I hope to do it if life gives me another opportunity.
10. Volunteer to help people in abusive relationships. After seeing one of my friends in an abusive relationship, I definitely like to do what I can to help stop domestic violence. The last time I did something for that cause was when I was in “The Vagina Monologues” and I find that I want to do more to help still.

What's sex got to do with it?

There’s nothing like friends. They give you booze when you need a drink. Plus they know what you’re really like and still choose to be seen with you in public.
Although being seen in public with someone can cause misunderstandings sometimes.
I have been asked if I am dating my friends Matt and Israel. Apparently, I'm seen with them alot. So , I’m in a love triangle I didn’t even know about!
All I can say is yes I have had coffee, dinner and played pool with both of them. But that's because the three of us are friends, amigos- however you want to say it.
I met Israel though Matt. Although, we really didn’t start hanging out one on one until I said three magic words -“I like pool.” After our first game of pool together, Israel made me laugh by saying Starbucks is “the magical land, the promise land.”
I met Matt on the school paper. We got assigned to cover a speaker together and discovered we both have a love of coffee, traveling, and politics. Plus we're both the only child in our family. At a magic show one night Gary, Matt’s dad said “it’s too bad Donna’s not Jewish.” But I think chemistry, rather than religion is the reason I’m not in a relationship with either of them. (Of course, I still think they’re awesome people!)
This made me wonder if guys and girls can really be friends. I know it’s the new millennium. Women and men work together all day, every day. But, if we find someone attractive, we want to be more than friends with them. We want to hold them, kiss them and see where kissing can lead to. ;0P It's human nature.
In the movie When Harry Met Sally, at the beginning Harry found Sally attractive and at the end of the movie, they got married.
The reason I’m not going to Ohio is even though my friend up there said we can go on “a date as friends.” But, I know he’s wanted to be more then friends since he met me at karaoke night down in Florida. ( Or at the very least I'm still not convinced that he won't try to erase the as friends part if I go up .) So it wouldn’t be right of me to fly over there, leading him on since I'm not that into him.
While I'm in no way saying we should go back to the Stoneage,I think the reason my friendships with Matt and Israel have lasted as long as it has is because we’re not trying to get each other in bed and have made it clear to one another we're not. Rather, we just support each other in all aspects of our lives. So a genuine comradery can blossom after all.

I am an optimist after all...

On the phone the other day, Melanie told me she wants to buy her friend Dustin dinner for his birthday on July 19th. She wants to because one Saturday a few months ago, he treated her to lunch at Zesta Cuchina. On face book she described that lunch as “sweet and romantic.” I remember that day as well because it was the first time I’ve gone to a friend’s house at ten in the morning just to help with hair, make- up and clothes. I think it’s as sweet as sugar Melanie wants to do something nice for Dustin on his special day. But I feel like a wet blanket sometimes because I’ve told Melanie more than enough times I don’t think he’s that into her. I say that because one night at a poetry reading, Dustin introduced Melanie as a friend. This was after the lunch at Zesta Cuchina and several Starbucks. Melanie says she knows they’re just friends and she’s cool with that. But as much as Melanie says she’s fine just being friends with this guy, I know she wants to be more with him. (I also have ten bucks that says she wishes I would burn my copy of “He’s Just Not That Into You.")
I wondered if by saying that Dustin’s not that into Melanie I was being too pessimistic. Am I so cynical about romance that I’m taking that out on my best friend? I try to see things for what they really are. But I still love getting butterflies in my stomach and daydreaming about the future I might have with guys I'm interested in. Also, I think all my friends are amazing. After living, working on plays and being an ABLE officer with Melanie I can say she’s one of the nicest people I know. She tries to handle everything thrown upon her with logic and class. To top it off, she is an inspiration story because no one (even her teachers) expected her to graduate from high school because of her dyslexia, much less go to college. (Of course I’m glad she went to college, otherwise we would have never met!) After all she's been through, I think Melanie deserves a guy who will proudly say she's his girlfriend. I know she wants the same for me.

Are we where we want to be?

In the book Sex and the City (which the TV. show was based off of), Candace Bushnell said the reason we’re single is because we want to be. When I first read that line I thought, that is not true. I mean after all, she doesn’t know the men I’ve dated, tried to date or my personal circumstances. So how does she know I want to be single? When I told that to Gary, the father of my friend Matt he said,” I think Matt wants to be in a relationship.” I didn’t know how to respond to that at the time because I know Matt likes the ladies. So they know, he is available and since he’s Jewish, you know he’s kosher. ;0)
But I have come to realize that the Sex and the City writer was right. (Although, this is the only place I will ever openly admit this. ;0P) I have been invited to Ohio and Illinois by two different guys. One I met in Wisconsin when I was camping. Another I met when I was in Florida. Both of them made it clear what kind of fun they wanted to have if I visited. But I am not in Ohio or Illinois. I am still here in Yakima, Washington. So I know I am here because I want to be. I wonder what would have happened if I took one of their invites. Maybe the fact I didn’t is a sign that I am still looking for the one who’s willing to cross a mountain for me since I’ve already been halfway around the world. Nether less, I’ve made my bed and I will sleep in it.

Impressions

I got a message from my friend in England today. In the email my friend told me that his grandfather recently died. (God rest his soul.) He then went on to say after my visit to England, apparently grandpa was always asking about how the 'Disney Girl' (a.k.a. me) was doing.
It's nice to know that my bubbly personality can translate to British English. It came at great timing too because back in the states, I didn't seem to be making a good impression. On Monday, Macy's said they didn't have a job for me.
It made me me wonder how you make a good impression. After all you walk into a room with 10 people in it, there's going to be ten different opinions of you.
You can google how to look good on a job interview or a date. But I think when it comes down to it, all you can do is show people who you really are and what you can do. After that, if you made any kind of impact, they will remember you. Just like an English grandpa remembered a quirky American 'Disney Girl.'