The lady in not quite red.

I am insane. I spent ten dollars on a dress and I don't even know when I will wear it. I just bought it because it's pretty. It's a strapless pink dress with little teardrops on it and it fits me just right with no alterations. I found it in the Student Union Recreation Center thanks to the Fairy Godmother Project the Fashion Club put on.
The Fairy Godmother project is where people donated their old prom dresses and they sold it back at really decent prices. I decided on the pink dress over a red dress because the red dress felt tighter, I was fidgeting more in it and alterations would have had to be made in order for it to fit me right. With the pink dress in my closet, it made me wonder about choices.
I could have bought the red dress and got it altered. However,realized I’m not ready to be the “lady in red” quite yet. I know I have some major changes that I still need to make on myself.
For example, I feel like lately I have been saying one thing and doing another. I got back with in contact with someone who is interested in me but, I’m not interested. Rather, I find myself flirting with someone who made it as clear as water he can’t give me what I want right now. I feel insane for that too. Knowing all this, I couldn’t help but wonder what am I doing?
On top of that , this is one of me and Melanie’s last nights as roommates .
I love her unwavering optimism in all aspects of her life.
Me on the other hand, I’m a cynic . With my current circumstances, I wish you really could order men like a pizza. You know like, I’ll have a medium brown hair, blue eyed man with an accent who likes theatre, writing and traveling. Please hold any baggage and excuses.
But since that’s not possible, all I can do is laugh about it. I will eventually get tired of chasing someone who can’t really give me what I want. Just like the man I’m not interested in will eventually get tired of chasing me. Hopefully, it’s sooner rather than later.
I also realized that if I'm not interested in someone and if someone can't give me what I need out of a relationship, then they're not the one for me. When I do find the right person, only a few minor alterations will need to be made before the red dress fits.

Sending roommates into sexile.

Tufts University in Massachusetts made a rule that students can not engage in sexual activity in their dorm when their roommate is present and that any sexual activity that happens in the dorm should not affect a roommates’ privacy, sleep or study time. They put this rule in because they have been receiving complaints of students being sexiled. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/29/tufts-sex-rule-tufts-univ_n_303449.html
Sexile is when a roommate asks their roommate to leave so they can have sex or, engage in sexual activities.

I know it’s fun to spend time alone with someone you find attractive and see how far you can go with them. But does that fun really have to come at the expense of roommates?

Weither it’s a college dorm, apartment or house we can all agree , no matter who’s footing the bills that when we’re room mating with someone, we’re agreeing to share a space with someone we may or may not know.

I have been in the same room with a friend of mine when she decided to have sex with a guy she was interested in. Long story short, the three of us where watching a movie one night and halfway through I discovered I was the only one still watching it. So I know watching people engage in that activity is akward and uncomfortable. I also know when you’re with someone you like hormones take over and some college dorms just consist of a mini fridge, shelf, two desks and two beds with no door inbetween. So there is no privacy. But I can also understand not wanting to leave just so your roommate can get laid.

So after moving in, maybe that should be one of the first things you talk about if you’re not living with your significant other. I know it's usually an unspoken roommate rule. But if you're living with someone you don't know that well you don't know how they feel about having members of the opposite sex over- espeacilly if they're not going to get any . That’s why Melanie and I actually get along as roommates. I wasn’t sure how it was going to work out at first. I describe us as “The Odd Couple” because she’s a neat freak and I’m not. So some things bother her that may not bother me. I don't know how many times I've seen her wiping crumbs off the table while I'm still there eating. I don’t know how many times we’ve unintentionally locked one another out of the bathroom.
However, we respect one another’s need for privacy and the fact we’re sharing space with one another. We let one another know when we're having people over for the night-stuff like that. We do have our own bedrooms.
But even if we lived in a shoebox I know we wouldn’t send one another into sexile when one of us has a guy over. I actually encourage Melanie to have fun when she's with a guy she likes. ( The good/bad kind of fun ofcourse. Not the fun that can get anyone in trouble or anything too stupid .)

Maybe since Melanie and I were friends before becoming roommates it helped the talk go smoother. But after the talk is over, it doesn’t have to be brought up again unless something new comes up. As a bonus when you want to see how far you can go with someone you know your roommates limits as well as your own. If the person you're seeing really is worth doing anything with, they'll respect your roommates wishes as well.

But, if worse comes to worse you can get horizontal when your roommate's out for the night . If that's not possible it means hoping your mate has a place you two can hang out or can spring for a hotel room .

Tasty Dish

I just realized something tonight. I have dated a guy and my first encounter with him was at a grocery store. As icing on the cake, two people I have recently got back into contact with both currently work in grocery stores.
It made me wonder if going to a grocery store is like dating. (Not just because you can use cheesy pick up lines like "nice melons" in the produce section.) Rather, a grocery store sells all kinds of food- meat, cheese, vegetables, fruit, popcorn, potato chips, ect.
Just like while you're single you will meet all kinds of people. Some you will like and some you won’t. Some will try to force you in their cart. Others may not want you in theirs. Last but not least, there will always be that one you can’t quite put your finger on. But of course it’s up to you who you want to take to the checkout stand.
It made me wonder if I'm really one to say who to take to the checkout stand.
I have just been told to enjoy the company of the opposite sex but be picky and to really listen to one another. Then the rest is gravy. I think that is so true.
My friend Matt describes break ups as "losing the game." After all if you break up with someone, it's because the relationship didn't work out for one reason or another. I used to think of it as a failure too. But no matter how good or bad a bad a relationship was, we all have to remember, some relationships are meant to last longer than others. All you can do is enjoy each relationship for what they are and learn something new from each experience. I think as long as you remember that, you will find the tasty dish you will want to keep coming back for.

If life where a movie

I just watched an episode of Hannah Montana. It was the episode where she sang "If we where a movie" on the Wake up it's Wendy Show. It reminded me of the time my mom said she wishes life could be like a movie. Then she could dance on a snowflake or something like that. I agreed with her . I think life would be more interesting if it where like a musical. Imagine really singing and dancing during intense moments of drama and passion. "I'm checking in. (He's checking in.) No more drugs or alcohol. No more stinkin fun at all. I'm checking in. No more looking pale and thin. Hey that's just my asprin.( Check it out. You're checking in!)" lol I have to admit, watching Hannah sing made me wonder what our lives would be like if it where a romance comedy.We all know the plot of romance comedies. Boy and girl meet. They fall in love. Then there's some sort of conflict. (Or at least enough that they break up. But, not so bad that they couldn't get back together. )Then the conflict is somehow worked out in the end and they get back together. Add a subplot of some sort to it and there you go! "Fade to black, show the names, play that happy song." After the happy song, cue my tears and tissues. It would definitely take the guesswork out of romance . For me that may not be a bad thing. When it comes to romance I think like the Prince in Ever After. I wonder "do things happen by chance or are some things meant to be?" I also ramble on like he does in that scene. I tend to be as sharp as a tack when it comes to my friends romances. However when it comes to my own I tend to be well not as sharp. One time my friend Chantelle and I where going to Fred Myers. I said something to herin my normal voice. Then we started to talk in fake british accents. Afterward,this guy said he liked my accent. So I said I'm American. (Sadly this with without the influence of any alcohol.) Chantelle had to point out that he was complimenting my normal voice. The only thing I remember about him now is he's a scorpio and thinks friends with benefits is a good idea.
I also remember Rosie O Donnel said in Sleepless in Seattle -" you don't want to be in love. You want to be in love in a movie. " Maybe she does have something there. In real life relationships do take time and work and you just can't fast forward to the ending. Plus in a movie you will have a group of writers figuring the twists and turns of your romance life rather then it being just you and your friends figuring out what to do next. But knowing how our own romance life will end would actually take most of the fun out of it.

Not so fearless

Feburary 27,2010
After some pomp and circumstance, my friend Rebecca Wagner offically became Rebecca Crabtree today. When it came time for the boquet toss I told my friends if I caught the brides bouquet, one of them could have it. I even said I would be willing to put in writing I vow to be the last one in our group to be married. It ended up not mattering anyway because Melanie caught the bouquet. They have her on video making a dive for it. After the wedding,I couldn't help but wonder, why was I saying I would give to my friends a sign that means I would be the next one to be picking out a white dress? Isn't a wedding the time when everyone who's single is saying oh I can't wait until that's me walking down the aisle and my dad's giving me away to the love of my life? I noticed in another wedding I got to go to, the bride tossed her bouquet a little short of where the single girls stood in anticipation. But it didn't matter because they ran to it. Where as when the groom tossed the garter belt a little short of where the eligible bachelors stood they just laughed, and looked at it until one of them decided to pick it up. It made me realize I am like those group of bachelors. I have trouble really making a dive when it comes to romance. I usually just say it's because for some reason the men I've met fall short of par somehow. It's not that I don't want to fall in love or anything like that. Above all things I believe in love."There's no wall love can't climb. No obstacle love can't overcome. There's no hurdle love can't hurdle." But I'm afraid of turning out like my mother if things go sour. Yes she always makes sure I have food to eat, clothes on my back and loves me unconditionally. She's somehow managed to provide for both of us and a cat on a single income. I do admire her for that. But over Christmas she called my dad an idiot and she's been saying that since the divorce along with complaining about how it took him forever to pay child support. (Becuase of this, at times growing up I felt more like her relationship counselor. Only I didn't get paid to ask ,"and how does that make you feel?") I know it's their issue not mine. But I also know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. I just hope now that I realize this, it will not cost me my chance to say "I do" someday.

Mix or total mismatch

Feburary 2nd, 2010
Cell phones and computers can be like your best friend. They go anywhere with you and keep you organized. (Or in my case, they help keep me disorganized! ) They help you stay in touch with people when you can't physically be with them. They play your favorite music whenever you want and always have photos on hand so you can walk down memory lane when you feel like it. To top it off, you can use cell phones and computers for business as well as pleasure.
But every coin has two sides.
With the fact you can get in touch with someone instantly that means almost no privacy. I've once gotten a call on my cell phone when I was in the bathroom and my friend was in the same building I was in. Also as much fun as it is to post pictures of the party you went to Friday night on face book, MySpace , or twitter you have to make sure they are pictures you don't mind friends, friends of friends as well as potential employers seeing.
Knowing that and the fact that I went to a wedding expo yesterday, I have wondered if technology and romance mix. It seems like a good way to keep in touch, send one another quick naughty or nice messages and let everyone else know if you're spoken for or not. With dating sites you can see pictures of potential partners as well as see if you can anything in common with them. So you will know before meeting them if you will be able to talk to them about something during dinner if nothing else.
But it can also cause miscommunication because you only see what the individual choose to post on their dating profile/face book. Sometimes what's on the internet may not be what you think. My friend Danielle and I have made a face book page for her plant. We named him Timothy and according to face book, he has gone out with both of us. We did it as a joke and to pass time.
(For those that care, my relationship with Timothy only lasted about two weeks. It didn't last because he likes the color green and I like the color blue. I will say though, he was a very good listener and really liked water.) Plus you may not know how often they update it. There's also the fact if you and your significant other break up, there's the tendency to visit your exes page to see if they're just as lonely as you are.
The cell phone can also be a cruel reminder of the fact you're single. If you're single the only people that call you are friends, family and work. That means you have no one to sext while watching Twilight and you want someone as cute as Edward to bite into you. ;0) Of course the phone is also all too happy to remind you of that fact you have no new messages. Of course there’s nothing like cuddling, kissing, and spending quality time with someone you’re attracted to and care about.
After my brief relationship with Timonthy, I think cell phones and computers should be like eye shadow. Eye shadow is used to help make a women look beautiful. But before eye shadow can work its magic on a woman’s eyes, they need a good foundation on first. In a relationship you need a good foundation offline so that the relationship doesn’t fall apart when wires get crossed online.
Unless your girlfriend sees something like a new picture of you kissing someone else. In which case, you're on your own there.