If the seasons of the year represented times in our life, then winter has finally come for my pugs Ethel. Ethel died today before she could make it to the vets office. I found out earlier this evening when I got home from work.
Now all I can think about is how Ethel snorted because of her small nose and how she would follow me around the pool when I went swimming in the summer. I even remember how grandpa said that Ethel looked like her face was smashed against a brick wall. On top of this happening right before Christmas, a friend of mine comitted suicide this past fall and not too long before that, my gray tabby Babs passed away. So, it feels like winter really is all around me.
I am still wondering why Ethel had to go. But I guess there is no logical reason. It was just her time. Just like there is a time for the leaves on trees to change color, a time for snow to fall on the ground, a time for flowers to bloom and a time for the days to be really hot.
However, even though I know it was her time, it is still hard to get into the holiday spirit with the news of Ethels death. There is a pit in the bottom of my stomach and I don't know what to do or think right now. But, I know that I am still alive. I also know that I have friends and family who care about me enough to remind me that although 2010 ended on a dark note, the sun will eventually come out and spring will soon be here.
Hang in there! :(
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