Evolution

Before Valentines Day I bought a green scarf at Goodwill. While I was on the west side of Washington this summer I bought a green dress at Ross dress for less. Since I went from the lady in the green scarf to the lady in a green dress I wondered if I have changed any as a person since then.
This started because last night ,after making fun of me for forgetting to put a word in an email I sent off to someone, my friend said he thinks I have commitment phobia because of how I express myself when it comes to dating and romance. I couldn't help but wonder if that was true. I admit I have stayed in a relationship for a year even though I knew it wasn't going anywhere. I agree with the saying if you where never someones girlfriend you can never be their ex girlfriend. I do have a fear of getting hurt because I don't like being the girl crying over some guy when or if things go wrong. Even my friend Amber told me at one point I seem to have a knack for finding emotionally unavailable men.
But on the other hand, I finally did get myself out the relationship limbo I was in. Since then I willingly met some guys for coffee. So I went from waiting for a man to get their act together to getting myself out there once in a while. I would have never done that a few years back. Now I know the word "wait" when it comes to relationships is like oil and water. It does not mix anymore then the word "busy" does in the world of dating.
After all when you're in a relationship with someone it's supposed to mean you want to be available for that special someone to love. If you're having to "wait" just to be able to do that, it's not a good sign. After all what makes someone so special they're worth you biding your time and emotions? We're always going to be coming in and out of something. Weither it's a job, place or relationship. The whole point of being with someone is you want to see if you have a romantic future together. Plus we're people, not coats we put in the closet and take out when we need it.
So maybe I have evolved a little and earned the green dress after all. :0)