Phillipines, here I come!

I can already tell I am a cross between my mom and dad. Like my dad, I love games, sleeping in, and cartoons. Like my mom, I like going to dance class at the gym, and swimming. The one thing they both gave me is the travel bug. This coming Saturday I will be on a plane to the Phillipines. I will be there until the 28th of September. It's been hard to work all week because my mind is already on vacation. I am already wondering what the beaches there will be like, what the food will taste like, what I am going to see-ect. I think my trip is coming at a good time though. It seems like I'm not working hard enough because I am still working on overcoming objections at work. At home, it seems like I am not cleaning or working out enough. If being an adult is a balancing act, then I am not doing a really good job. Plus, I have never really met my family up there. I met my grandparents on my moms side once when I was in elementary school. My mom said I used to never admit I was part filipino until I realized that anime and being asian was in. I think it's because I really didn't know much about the culture or what it meant. I would just see mom cooking lumpia or pansit and I would wonder why we couldn'teat what other kids where eating for dinner. On the other hand, I have lived with my grandparents on my dads side. I know my uncles and aunt, as well as other relatives. But that is because they live in the U.S. So, it's not quite as expensive to see them. At this point, we have gifts bought for everyone, and some of our clothes packed. Jenn O is going to make sure Silver gets her temptations fix while mom and I are away. Mom is in her we need to get everything cleaned up before we leave mode. The only thing I am wondering about is if I am going to be handle the eighteen hour plane ride. I hate sitting for long periods of time. But that's what sleeping and seasons of Supernatural and Magic Knights to watch are for. If I do anything wrong while I am abroad,I hope they realize I am just an American whose mom happended to be born there. I will share my misadventures here and on facebook. So stay tuned!

Two months...

Sunday night, I received a text from a guy I went on one date with a couple of months ago asking me to come over after I got off work at nine in the evening. I love late night chats, and visits with people. But I wasn't exactly going to do an impromptu late night get together with a man I haven't even heard from in two months. So I just went home from work as I usually do. As I relaxed, I couldn't help but wonder- whatever happened to romance? I understand schedules and obligations make it hard to meet up like we would all like to at times. However, the word busy is the weapon of mass destruction in any relationship. It sounds legitimate because we all have things to do. But, even the President of the United States still makes time for his family. Plus, I still dream of going out , and hearing - I just want to be with you. Not just come to my place after work. In a world where we all have a million things to do, I want the one who can't wait to see me again. Not the one who takes two months to send me a text.

Being #1

Every Thursday, I have to go to a weekly staff meeting at 9:30 in the morning. At one of our meetings, our director said the girl who is #1 in the company is the kind of person that if she where to find out someone pulled ahead of her, she would try to get back in the lead, and stay #1. As for me I am the total opposite. I'm the kind of person that goes okay, lets do our best, and see what we can do, not I have to be the best. With that attitude, I did pretty good at one job in the company I work for. But, I am still learning how to do well at my new job there. According to Shakespeare, "all the world's a stage." If that's the case, why is it some people always need the lead role? Yes, as humans , we all want to be seen and heard. But, throughout our life, we will play many roles. Daughter, classmate, girlfriend, friend, granddaughter, wife,employee,ect. Sometimes we will be the star of the show, and sometimes we will be the person who only has one line. After all, like Miley Cyrus sings - "There's always gonna be another mountain I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be a uphill battle Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose." Meaning, there's always going to be someone richer, smarter,prettier-ect. So maybe it's not about being number one. Maybe it's about being the best you can be.

Finding our own spotlight

I got a phone call from someone I work with tonight. I have to admit before that I was tired from being in the sun two days in a row. During our conversation, she told me others have said I usually get the best numbers at the park. That surprised me because usually I hear people telling me how good she is at her job. I still don't know if it's the truth or just gossip. I don't worry about numbers when I am working. I just do what I am supposed to do and I try to let whatever numbers I need show from that. Actually on the job, I am a silly person. I dance like no one’s watching , jump around acting excited about everything, chat about random things, and I try to create an environment where it's fun and everyone can make money. But it did remind me to continue to do the best in all I do because you never know who is watching and admiring what you bring to the table.

So long, so gone...

After work on Sunday, I got an im from Brian,and I was on the fence about if I should resume contact with him. A part of me still wants to talk to him again. After all, we where friends before we officially went out. Plus, maybe I did over react to everything. I know I can. I still remember us hanging out until the middle of the night, getting together for dinner after classes, and working together. Another part of me still wants to throw a shoe at him. I also remember him leaving me alone on a mountain pass for over an hour while he went to get help just as an incentive for someone to get up there and help get his car unstuck quicker, monolouging to me in Subway about how he doesn't want to get married again, and then getting engaged to someone else a few weeks after meeting her. This is after supporting his cause, welcoming him to Central Washington University, and saying nothing but good things about him when I was asked about him for the student newspaper. Some of my friends still say I really should at least hear what he has to say and remain in contact. Some have said I have made the right decision to not have contact with him. However, I just recently lost my wallet. I still feel really stupid that happened. I have tried to stay calm. But of course my mind was going all over the place wondering where it is and if whoever found it is going to use it to ruin my name or something. But in the midst of this chaos, my friend Carolyn willingly made sure I had lunch and took me home from work the day that happened. Sarah willingly switched shifts with me so I could get a license, and everything else taken care of. Meaning, instead of getting to work at a Spurs playoff game, she ended up taking my 8 hour shift at Fiesta Texas. With friends who have treated me with nothing but warmth and kindness, I didn't feel the need to go back to being treated so cold. Plus, I really don't want to hear that his fiancee is great in every way, and why we didn't mesh. I don't want to have to explain why I haven't been in contact. Honestly, I don't know if I even am the same person I was when I last saw him. I'm 50 pounds lighter, and if there is one thing I have learned since I moved back to Texas it is that I am the woman you want on your team.

Still a kid...

While working, or pretending to work, my friend Perry has said I am still a kid. I can't blame the man for saying that considering he has seen me play with inflatable dice before. (But, of course it was strictly for business purposes.) I don't know how many times I have introduced him to people as "Perry the Platypus," a pet platypus/secret agent on the Disney cartoon "Phineas and Ferb." (Again, strictly for business purposes.) With my job, I need to be energetic, outgoing, and inviting, or no one would make any money. But, even off the clock I know I can still be child like. I still enjoy playing scrabble with friends, swimming,dancing, roller coaster rides, and I still hate having to pay for things like gas and my student loan payments. Plus, I am single and don't have any children yet, so I don't have any of the responsibilities that come with that. I just have a cat who thinks she needs Temptations all the time. I know my child like nature is part of my charm. I also know I am 26, and I need to be able to take care of myself. ( My mom constantly reminds me about that.) So, is my child like nature my way of rebelling against my mother because she's always telling me I need to grow up? Is it because I am enjoying being single and unattached while I am? I don't know, maybe it's a combination of both. Or, maybe it's like what my choir teacher in high school said- we all have a mature side and immature side. Even though I am a silly person, I can talk about anything, I still show up to work on time, my co workers know I do what I am being paid to do (or, make them think so anyway lol), I managed to get a bachelors degree, and I learned recently I can at least run/jog two miles on the treadmill even after pulling a shift in the hot Texas sun. I think all it means is I am a person just like anyone else. I have good qualities, bad qualities, and I will have failures, as well as successes as I continue on the road of life. I just hope whatever happens, I will continue to have lots of laughs and stories.

Forty pound mark

I know it's been a while. Between working and working out, I've been busy. I'm 43 pounds lighter then I was in November. It feels good knowing I have accomplished that. I'm still in a love/hate relationship with people knowing I work out. It's great when I can tell people I lost weight. (I lost another two pounds - what what! LOL) But when I first started I was afraid to admit I started going to a gym. (a. I only have a gym membership because my mom signed me up. (b. I was afraid what people would think if I slipped up. I am only human, meaning I know I will make many mistakes .If weight loss where easy, there wouldn't be so many people struggling with their weight, and we wouldn't be bombarded with commercials trying to sell another powder or machine that promises quick results. Plus, I know when someone says they are going to try and lose weight, everyone else is supportive, but, proably also wondering how long they can really stick to it.
I didn't even know if I would even reach this point because I know I'm not one of those people that have to exercise all the time. On my days off, I still like to sleep in, and watch a movie on netflix. But, I also want to be healthy, so I decided to at least try. I figured no matter what happened, it will only help me. Yes, from the end of November to the end of January I had a trainer,which of course gave me a good start. But after my time with a trainer was up, I really didn't know what to do. I don't like working out by myself. If I go on the eliptical or machine like that, I will be more interested in what is on t.v. then working out. So, I started going to the classes there, and I just keep going when I can. That's how I found out losing weight is alot like going to school. You don't get a high school diploma or college degree by going to one class. You get a high school diploma or college degree after four years of studying and going to class. Just like, you don't lose weight by working out and eating right for one day. It takes time when you start working out and dieting to finally see results. All you can do is just keep working out, eating right, and taking things "one step at a time." But once those results come in, you know it was worth all the hard work, and all the instructors ask in return is for you to sign the book at the end of class.

me in October 2011. I am the one in blue.

Me today.